So I’m finally back in kilt country. I know for a while it seemed like I wasn’t coming back, but I had some biz-nez to take care of. What kind of biz-nez you ask? Well, none of yours.
Unfortunately, I was so excited to be back that I forgot my luggage on the plane. I can’t begin to tell you how embarrassing it was walking through the airport with all my clothes and things in my hands. Then there is the utterly depressing ritual of changing my US currency to pounds. America may be the only remaining superpower on the planet, but the dollar is still the pound’s bitch.
Finally, as I exited the Edinburgh airport, I was greeted by the shrill cacophony of the McCloud Bagpipe Band; a clan of twelve skirt wearing men who derive sadistic delight from musically assaulting hapless passengers exiting the terminal. Naturally, this immediately took me back to my days as a wee lad growing up in the Caribbean islands (it is a little known fact, but bagpipes have long been a central part of Caribbean culture; along with ice-fishing and Bobsledding). But as you may have already guessed, I’ve never really fancied Scottish music; though I have to admit that it is much better than it sounds.
But I know what you’re thinking: "wow Nubian, you mean to tell me that you’re not only brilliant, funny and unforgivably sexy, but you’re West Indian too?" Yes, yes, it’s true…I’m just all kinds of awesome. (But I swear, if you ask me to say "feelin' eiree mon" just to satisfy your perverse desire to hear an exotic accent, I won't hesitate to slap you!)
*For some background on the L-Nizzy reference, see my Pulitzer prize winning post: Break out the Kilts
Unfortunately, I was so excited to be back that I forgot my luggage on the plane. I can’t begin to tell you how embarrassing it was walking through the airport with all my clothes and things in my hands. Then there is the utterly depressing ritual of changing my US currency to pounds. America may be the only remaining superpower on the planet, but the dollar is still the pound’s bitch.
Finally, as I exited the Edinburgh airport, I was greeted by the shrill cacophony of the McCloud Bagpipe Band; a clan of twelve skirt wearing men who derive sadistic delight from musically assaulting hapless passengers exiting the terminal. Naturally, this immediately took me back to my days as a wee lad growing up in the Caribbean islands (it is a little known fact, but bagpipes have long been a central part of Caribbean culture; along with ice-fishing and Bobsledding). But as you may have already guessed, I’ve never really fancied Scottish music; though I have to admit that it is much better than it sounds.
But I know what you’re thinking: "wow Nubian, you mean to tell me that you’re not only brilliant, funny and unforgivably sexy, but you’re West Indian too?" Yes, yes, it’s true…I’m just all kinds of awesome. (But I swear, if you ask me to say "feelin' eiree mon" just to satisfy your perverse desire to hear an exotic accent, I won't hesitate to slap you!)
*For some background on the L-Nizzy reference, see my Pulitzer prize winning post: Break out the Kilts
3 comments:
Well! I'm excited you are back too. Everytime I came over here there was that plastic dick, A-gain...
West indies, huh?
BTW, how is the food in Scotland? Do you eat haggis(?sp)over there? & oatmeal?
I gotta travel more. Here in the States, we don't have the McCloud band at McDonalds.
Brilliant, funny, unforgivably sexy, and West Indian pretty much describes me too. Except for that whole West Indian part, we could totally be twins.
Scotland: separate faucets for hot and cold water, lights and showers that come on at the pull of a string, and televisions with only three stations...it sure feels good to be in a third world country again.
And yes, I happen to be a haggis eater (sheep entrails stuffed inside an all natural intestinal wrapping and seasoned to perfection…mmm).
I also missed our special moments together L>T. I’m off to go read all those posts on your blog that I missed while I was away.
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