My doctor asked me if I engaged in sexual intercourse in the last seven days. I explained to him that it wasn’t my birthday for another month. My girlfriend, Diane, doesn’t really have a problem sleeping with me; it’s just the sex she can’t stand. Apart from our love-life, Diane is perfectly content to be with me. She said that her only regret, as far as our relationship is concerned, is that she wasn’t dating someone else. Things were much better when I was dating that Chinese girl from across the hall; the only problem was that every time I went down on her I would need to go down on her again like an hour later.