Friday, August 11, 2006

Guns Don't Kill People, Liquids Do!


Despite the combined efforts of Jesus (See: Jesus's Match.com Profile) and our beloved president, the terror alert level has once again been raised to orange. About two dozen terrorists, with alleged ties to al-Qaeda, were stopped in Heathrow carrying enough gatorade to bring down a Boeing 747! Now the Department of Homeland Security has issued a list of items not allowed in airline carry-on:

  1. All sports drinks and containers with liquids (with the exception of baby bottles and lactating women)
  2. Hairsprays, hair gels and flammable hair extensions
  3. Electric toothbrushes and other battery operated vibrating instruments (sorry ladies, but you have to leave the rabbit at home)
  4. Toiletry items including toothpaste, mouthwash, concentrated hydrochloric acid and French percussion grenades.
  5. Muthafuckin snakes!

1 comment:

L>T said...

it's the catch words that keep me coming back.
example; freakishly large penis & lactating women.
that's how some bloggers minds work.