Almost every woman has had (or will at some point have) the unfortunate experience of discovering that her boyfriend is cheating on her. This has led many a young inamorata to view all men as no good creeps. However, it would be a mistake to assume that just because the guy you’re presently dating (along with all the men you’ve dated in the past, whether you’re aware of it or not) has cheated on you, that every man you date in the future will also cheat on you. (That’s almost as absurd as assuming that just because the sun rose every morning in the past that it will…eh, you get my point.) Anyway, in order to dispel some of the paranoia of my female readers I have come up with the following signs that your boyfriend might be unfaithful. While none of these are guarantees that your beau is watering someone else’s flowers, they all justify serious suspicion:
1. You come home from work early and find him in bed naked with your best friend.
2. Whenever you suggest sex, he asks how your diet is coming along.
3. You find a coupon for the Old Navy Mail Order Bride discount special in his back pocket.
4. Your suggestion that perhaps you should both begin seeing other people is greeted with cheers, girlish laughter and excited phone calls to his friends.
5. He has a tendency to check the box next to ‘male’ when filling out survey forms.
If your sweatheart displays one or more of the above tendencies then there is a good possibility that he may be cheating on you.
This message has been brought to you by the Carol Gilligan Society for the Advancement of Lesbianism and by the valuable contributions to your local PBS station by readers like you.