Wednesday, February 01, 2006

To Chad or Not to Chad?

Today I learned that Diane’s friend Chad has a past more colourful than a "Pride" flag. His list of criminal offences include: shoplifting, driving under the influence, marijuana and drug paraphernalia possession, and hurting a mall security guard’s feelings. But Chad’s past isn’t all bad. For example, I was surprised to learn that for a long time he aspired to become a Shakespearean actor. Affectionately referred to as the ‘Asian Othello’ by his colleagues for his most notable role, Chad began what by all appearances would prove to be a successful career as a thespian. However, his dreams of worldwide acclaim were crushed when, during one dramatic enactment of the noble Moor’s epileptic seizure, he began having an actual seizure. Later, his doctor informed him that his condition wouldn’t allow him to fake having a seizure ever again! Since then, Chad has been regularly visited by attacks of the dreadful disease. What’s worse, the ailment would always seem to show up at the worse possible times, such as while he was hosting a dinner party, on the loo, or during the tie-breaking round of a particularly intense game of charades.

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